Trying IVF again with a toddler in tow

I thought I'd write a little bit about what it's like to try IVF again once you already have one child.

The truth is, until Posey was about 16 months I was hellbent on not going through it all again.  It's physically, mentally and emotionally tiring.  The fact it took 4 years to have Posey, she was then born prematurely and spent time on the neonatal ward and then I shortly developed post natal depression scarred me and I didn't feel able to cope with any more treatment.  I felt too weak.

Then one week I started to feel like I could think about doing it again.  Posey was coming up to 18 months and she'd become like my little friend.  Much less like a little person who just needed things all the time and literally took up my whole life.  I loved her as a baby, I really did, but I guess my years spent TTC were full of flash holidays, silly cars, fancy restaurants, compiling the best handbag collection outside Selfridges and spending all of my money on ME!  That was my way of getting through the emotional pain of struggling to start a family.  Then before I'd even started my mat leave she was here, needing me 24-7 and I found it so hard to adjust.  Buzz and I both did.  It was blooming tough and although we knew we were incredibly fortunate we really really struggled.  We live a long way from our families too so we didn't have a lot of support nearby.

Anyway....when Posey was about 18mths Buzz said to me one day that he'd like to try for another baby.  I just cried.  I felt ecstatic.  So that was my answer.  The fact I was overjoyed told me that I wanted it too.  We booked a consultation at the IVF clinic without delay.  There was a 6 week wait so we had plenty of time to really think things through and be 100% sure it was what we both wanted.

One of my biggest concerns was the potential impact on Posey.  But it's been fine!  I feel ok, Buzz feels ok and therefore Posey thinks everything is 'normal.'  I do worry that if this doesn't work we on't be ourselves and will have to get an amazing amount of strength from somewhere to show Posey that we are 'ok' but we will stick together and do that if we have to.

I have done everything as normal with Posey.  I did all my injections at 7pm once she was in bed and I've taken her to all her usual nursery days, dance classes, music classes etc etc.  life has been what she is used to.  I only had to take her to the clinic once and she loved it!  The nurses loved her and she happily played with the toys and books in the waiting room.  It was ok!

Posey has made me realise that I'm a great mum.  She is such an amazing little person and we can even have little conversations with each other now.  She's my little friend, my little partner in crime.

I really hope Buzz and I can give Posey a little brother or sister x