The day before test day

Ok, so I'm calling this post "the day before test day" but the truth is it is 4.18am and I am sitting in my kitchen, at the breakfast bar eating marmite crumpets and drinking a big glass of cold milk.

I woke up dying for a wee (tmi..) and starving / really thirsty at 4.05am and tossed & turned for 5 mins before realising I just needed to get up.  Buzz, Posey and even the cats are snoring their heads off!

So why on earth am I awake?  We have been really fortunate with Posey as she's slot from 7pm-7am each night since she was 3 months old.  What an angel! (Just never get me started on her fussy eating habits....grrrrr...)

Last night we ate dinner at about 7.30pm.  We had jacket potato with lots of green salad and then (Waitrose!) syrup sponge with custard - yum yum yum - custard is amazeballs!  So I had plenty to eat before bed at 9.30 (I was shattered...)

Of course my mind is running away with itself.  While I was pregnant with Posey I indulged in midnight feasts most nights.  Jam on toast was a favourite, always with a glass of milk.  You can imagine what I'm thinking now....the last 2 mornings I have woken up starving & literally have had to neck a bowl of cereal as soon as I've woken up.  Then i've felt nauseous all morning.  Right now I'm scoffing crumpets.  Could I really be pregnant?  I just don't want to think it.  If I think i might be i feel like i'm tempting fate.  I met hang on for my test at the clinic.  I must I must I must.

Thankfully there are no HPTs in the house.  If there were I think there would be a good chance I'd crack and use one.  The fear of a false BFP or BFN scares me though.  I've heard of too many occasions when it's happened so let's not go there.....

The cats are now looking at me like I've intruded on their quiet time!  I think they might be after my glass of milk.  Who can blame them? It's lush! But unfortunately for them it is nearly all drunk!

I have a nice day planned for today.  Posey and I will swing round Waitrose in the morning and pop round the corner to see the bunny we're bunny sitting this weekend.  Buzz and I will take her out on her trike to the swings.  I'm seeing one of my best friends in the afternoon.  She lives up in the midlands now so it's always great to see her.  I'm also having (decaf) coffee with my best mum friend late afternoon in an attempt to divert my mind before Tuesday.  I also caught up with her the day before my egg collection.  She's amazing, 34 weeks pregnant herself with a 20mth old but particularly over the last few months has been there whenever I've needed her.  Such a great friend :)

Over and out for now.  I should probably try and get more sleep before I hear "hiya hiya mummyyyy diddyyyyyy" coming from the bedroom next door to ours at around 7am!

x