Day 14 of down regging

Hurray! So since AF arrived on Saturday I have been feeling much more normal.  Not bloated, not exhausted and, well, ok actually.

Now AF has come and gone I feel fine about my baseline scan tomorrow morning.  All being well I'll be able to start my stims injections in the next couple of days.  The journey will still be a long one but it'll be the 'next stage' and mentally that means a lot to me.

Posey and I had a lovely day together today.  We me friends at soft play this morning and took ourselves to the shops to choose some sample paint colours and wallpaper as Buzz and I are planning to decorate the lounge! Exciting times :)

x

Day 13 of down regging

Hurrah - AF has arrived! I've been concerned for days that AF was never going to come, and as my baseline scan is on day 16 I was getting a bit desperate! They don't let you have a baseline scan until your AF has arrived & I really didn't want starting the stims to be delayed so i'm very relieved today.

Buzz, Posey and I have a nice family weekend planned, which is perfect for relaxing me before my scan this week and also starting the stims this week

x

Day 10 of down reg drugs

Well the last 10 days have gone surprisingly fast but there is 1 thing on my mind.  I haven't had a bleed yet!

The nurse coordinators at my clinic said I should have a bleed between days 10-14 while i'm on my down reg injections, but there is no sign of a bleed and I must admit I'm starting to feel a little anxious about it.

The down reg drugs must be doing something because I feel exhausted in the evenings and I would normally have had my period on day 30/31 of my cycle and if I hadn't started the down ragging today would be day 31.  Come on bleed!!! Got my baseline scan next Tuesday and I really hope I can start my stims soon after that.

X

Is it the drugs or am I just moody?!

The sun is shining today, we are collecting new furniture but boy am I in a foul mood.  I had a lovely evening out with friends last night and Buzz got up with Posey at 6.30 this morning so I could have a lie in.  So why am I in such a bad mood?! I can't remember the DR drugs making me grumpy last time round but perhaps the added pressure of not being able to sit down and chill out (because Posey is a bundle of energy!) is sapping my energy!

Plans for the rest of today? To relax while Posey naps and then enjoy a nice walk in the sunshine later on :)x

Day 5 of down regging!

Well I am now on day 5 of my DR injections and thankfully some of the side effects I thought I was having yesterday seem to have gone :) it's nice as I have way more energy today and I haven't had any hot flushes.  On the other hand though now I'm worrying the drugs aren't working!!!

Oh well, I have a nice evening planned with some of my best mummy friends to look forward to tonight.  I think it's important to divert your mind from IVF as much as possible as it keeps me sane!

x

Day 4 of down regging

So I reckon I'm about 1/5 of my way into the down reg injections and today is the first day I can feel some side effects.

I woke up this morning after 8.5 hours of sleep and I felt like I'd had about an hour of sleep! I was shattered, and that's not like me.  I also feel bloated today and I've had 2 hot flushes so far.

These things haven't stopped me doing anything yet but I can certainly tell I feel different today.

Not nice, but hopefully it all means the down reg drugs are working!

x

My first down reg injection

So yesterday was a huge mixture of excitement as well as nervousness around starting my down regging....

Part of me felt like "hurray today is here!" Whereas another part of me felt like it was the start of a long, difficult journey and the side effects would be horrid.  One of my best friends said that at least if the side effects are horrid then I know it's working! Sound advice....:)

Buzz and I got Posey ready for bed and fast asleep and then shut ourselves in our en-suite to administer the pain!  I carefully unpacked my Supercur drugs, prepared the needle and then shot up! It went ok.  I felt ok.  And then I had half a pizza!

How do I feel today? Ok actually.  Posey is at nursery and I am working so my mind is occupied :)
Any side effects yet? Nope.  I feel like normal.  Long may this continue!

x

Going to the IVF clinic is emotional

I held tears back on the drive there, while I was there and on the drive back.  In fact I held tears back until an hour ago, when I finished working for the day.  Boy was it tough!

Why did I want to cry?
I think it's all just such an emotional thing to go through and having done it all before I'm scared of how the side effects like mood swings, tiredness and turning into a monster will affect me, especially with Posey around.  It's going to be tough I think.

The nurses, consultants and in fact, everyone at the clinic is lovely.  They smile, they ask how you are.  They make you feel comfortable.  I couldn't wish for more support from them. I'm fortunate.

So, deep breath! All I did was pick up some down reg drugs today.  I know things are going to get much tougher so I must find some inner strength...from somewhere....x

IVF Down reg drugs :-s

So, today is the day I pick up my down reg drugs.  It feels like I've waited an age but today is finally here - hurray! I literally can't wait to get my hands on them!

x

The sun is shining and my upcoming IVF treatment feels ok!

Well what a difference the sunshine can make to how you feel!

Today has felt like the first day of Spring and Buzz, Posey and I made the most of it by going to the park where there are lots of farm animals.  Posey loved the little lambs, ducks and pot belled pigs :). She enjoyed riding on the mini train and eating cookies in the cafe too.  We had a really nice day.

A big part of me feels like I'd be so sad if Posey didn't have a little brother or sister to share days like this with, but at the same time it's also nice that Buzz and I get to shower her with ALL of our attention.  I feel very fortunate x

Positive Mental Attitude!

A the start of this year one of my best friends bought me a book called "Start the Day with Katie" written by Katie Piper.  I think she is an amazing, inspirational girl and I have a huge amount of respect for her.  Each day there is a statement. An inspiring and thoughtful statement, which really makes me think.  I would totally recommend her book.  I've been reading ahead a little....

1. The day I pick up my first IVF drugs - "If you feel anger, acknowledge it, then learn to let it go.  The more it lingers, the greater it grows." I feel anger every day, anger that I have severe PCOS and can't just conceive a baby like 'that'.  I'm a good mum and can provide for a big family.  Life is unfair sometimes, but Katie is right.  Anger gets you nowhere!

2. The day I believe I will start my IVF stims injections - "Focus on the individual steps you need to take to achieve your goals, rather than worrying about the entire journey." WOW! I'm going to really remember this one :)

3. The day after the day I believe my Egg Collection will happen - "A positive attitude will open many doors."  Very true...

I can't think any further than that as it all depends on fertilisation and if/how many embryos we have. We got 1 out of 12 last time (but it was a good one = Posey!!) so I know not to count my chickens...

P M A !
x

Vivid dreams about being pregnant...

Perhaps I'm eating too much cheese! I'm having really vivid dreams about being pregnant!

I haven't even started my down reg drugs yet let alone my stims & my mind is already working overtime....

In my dream last night Posey was stroking my baby bump as I was lying on the sofa.  She was pointing at it and saying 'Babbeeeee'.  It was really sweet.  Wow, I hope that dream turns into reality.

x

Emotions that come with wanting a baby

While you're going though fertility treatment you can really educate yourself on the drugs you take, the fertility investigations you'll go through, the waiting, the procedures......

It's very easy to think you'll sail through it as long as you 'carry on as normal.'  I absolutely felt that way last time, before we conceived Posey, but this time I kinda know what's coming my way emotionally too, and I'm finding it hard to get my head around it in all honesty.

There are so many highs and lows that come with fertility treatment and I guess you have to hope it all ends with a high!  So far:

Setting the consultation date = high
Waiting for that date = low
Having our consultation = high
Realising it would be another 20 odd days until we start my down-reg drugs = low
Imagining having another baby = high
Imagining it not working = low

Way too many things to think about!!! Help me - advice please to keep my emotions under control?

x

IVF is verrrrrry expensive!

So Buzz and I believe that our round of IVF with ICSI is going to cost us somewhere between £6000-£6500.  Wow.

That includes all of the drugs, bloods, scans, procedures etc.  what it doesn't include is the 45 minutes each way Buzz and I have to travel to the clinic for appointments (often!), and the time I take of work, as of course with being self-employed I only earn when I work....:(

So today I thought I'd look at more money-making ideas!  Having already cancelled my gym membership and just about every non-essential direct debit so far I have the following:

1. Stop going to Costa, Starbucks & Pret
2. Sell everything that isn't nailed down on ebay.
4. Launch an ironing service.
5. Drive to the clinic at exactly 56 miles per hour to conserve fuel.....

And so my money-making plans go into action this afternoon!

x

April = IVF month!

Hurray, April is here!  April is officially known as IVF month to me :). Only 15 days until I start my down reg drugs and the whole thing finally kicks off.  All being well I should be onto my stims injections by early may and then EC mid may.  Now April is here is all feels very near and that makes me feel GOOD! x

I have been doing lots of reading about celebrities who have had fertility treatment. Courtney Cox, Gaby Logan, Penny Lancaster to name a few.  It's amazing how many couples go through it tbh.  Many more than I ever would have thought.  Quite comforting to know Buzz and I are not alone x