IVF is verrrrrry expensive!

So Buzz and I believe that our round of IVF with ICSI is going to cost us somewhere between £6000-£6500.  Wow.

That includes all of the drugs, bloods, scans, procedures etc.  what it doesn't include is the 45 minutes each way Buzz and I have to travel to the clinic for appointments (often!), and the time I take of work, as of course with being self-employed I only earn when I work....:(

So today I thought I'd look at more money-making ideas!  Having already cancelled my gym membership and just about every non-essential direct debit so far I have the following:

1. Stop going to Costa, Starbucks & Pret
2. Sell everything that isn't nailed down on ebay.
4. Launch an ironing service.
5. Drive to the clinic at exactly 56 miles per hour to conserve fuel.....

And so my money-making plans go into action this afternoon!

x

April = IVF month!

Hurray, April is here!  April is officially known as IVF month to me :). Only 15 days until I start my down reg drugs and the whole thing finally kicks off.  All being well I should be onto my stims injections by early may and then EC mid may.  Now April is here is all feels very near and that makes me feel GOOD! x

I have been doing lots of reading about celebrities who have had fertility treatment. Courtney Cox, Gaby Logan, Penny Lancaster to name a few.  It's amazing how many couples go through it tbh.  Many more than I ever would have thought.  Quite comforting to know Buzz and I are not alone x

In Control!

So, for the last 2 days I have successfully diverted my mind off our impending ICSI treatment - result!  Only 16 days until I start the down reg drugs....

I can't remember being particularly over-hormonal on them last time tbh but have read a lot on various internet forums recently about how the hormones can be hard to deal with and turn you into a bit of a monster! We will see!

What I can remember from last time is that I got quite a lot of hot flushes.  In particular in the evening (after injecting my down-regs) and also during the day at work.  I would have to excuse myself from meetings because I'd turned right red and I'd fake a sneeze attack or a phone call or something to get me out of the room ASAP!  I even used to sit right by the door so I could make a sharp exit...lol...:)

If the hot flushes are the worst thing this time I'll be fine!  Fingers crossed :)x

Diverting your mind works wonders :)

It's the Easter weekend so Buzz is off work for 4 days - hurray!

We decided to go out for a day at the shops today. I even bought myself a new pair of shoes :). We had a really nice day and it really refocused my mind.  Shopping solves everything!  We got Posey some new things and she had a good play with some of the toys in one of the department stores.

Buzz and I are planning a chilled out evening with nice food and the TV :)x

Positivity is key!

Yep yep yep :)

IVF worked last time so why on earth wouldn't ICSI work this time x

My Daddy's Girl :(

Ok, so Posey is a Daddy's girl.  Whenever Buzz isn't at work she wants him.  She wants him to read her stories, play megabloks with her, take her for a walk and feed her 'choc choc'. We think she sees him as the soft touch because most of her time is with me and that means I make her eat her meals, I change her nappies, I'm the one doing chores in the house with her.

When Daddy's home it's all fun fun fun.  It was ok until this week (typical!) as i accepted that was just how things were at the moment but yesterday Posey literally stood by the front window waiting for him to get home from work and from the second he got home, it was all cuddles with daddy.  I didn't get a look in :(

Unfortunately this morning was the same.  Mummy was second best and she just wanted Daddy.  When he left for work she cried and called through the front door for him.  It may sound selfish but it's heartbreaking.  I waited 4 years for her to be here, I nurtured her as a baby and I do so many fun things with her - soft play, music classes, singing, stories, building towers, dancing - so why does she seem to love Daddy more than me?

I hope this is mind talk but I must admit it's starting to take over my life a little and I worry Posey doesn't like me.  It makes me upset and that much more hellbent on having another baby x

Coping...?

1. Why am I so impatient?
2. Why do I want to know all the answers to the questions that cannot be answered?
3. Why do my friends keep announcing they're pregnant?!!!!!!!

I think I can come to terms with 1&2 above, but 3 is just in another league.  Before Buzz and I conceived Posey every pregnancy announcement was like a slap round the face.  I was genuinely happy for my friends who fell pregnant, but I desperately wanted it for myself.  I feel a bit like that too now.  I must remember:

1. I have beautiful Posey.
2. Pilates and music helps me relax (I must must remember to relax!)
3. It's not all going to happen quickly.....

x